Halloween Horrors 2014 : Curse of Bigfoot

November 1, 2014 at 7:31 pm Leave a comment

The Pure Terror movie box set was suppose to take me 31 days. It has taken me nearly 4 years. Part of the reason for that would be movies like Curse of Bigfoot. This movie is nearly unwatchable and very difficult to comment on. Much of Curse of Bigfoot consists of an 1958 movie called Teenagers Battle The Thing. Nothing would have made me happier than if it were Clobberin’ Time for the entire cast and crew of this movie. The movie was released in 1976. Someone in the time inbetween decided to tack on footage from other movies and stock footage from Canadian lumber companies.

We start out with what appears to be a typical slasher movie. A teenager is feeding a dog when a creature lurking in the woods spying on him leaps out and probably kills him. It turns out this is just a movie being watched in a college anthropology class. The first of many gaffs happens when the teacher says the footage is typical of 1950’s creature features. That is laughable considering the kid in the movie had bell-bottoms and David Cassidy hair. That little part of the movie clearly was film separate from the class room footage and Canadian lumberjack footage. That is the real curiosity about this movie, who made all these different films and who had the idea to lump them together into one incoherent mess.

Then we are in a classroom. The teacher tells us about mythological beasts while we wait for his guest speaker. Then he tells us about Bigfoot. This is where he narrates over footage from a Canadian lumber documentary. There could have also been nature documentary footage lumped in there for good measure, its kind of hard tell. It is somewhat humorous to see the lengths the film makers will reach to in order to make this disparate stock footage fit  into a Bigfoot narrative. That is still not a reason to watch this movie. Then he tells us a story about some men who were out hunting and ran into Bigfoot. I will admit that I am a bit foggy on the details about this part of the movie because it consisted mostly of two guys wandering the woods until one of them gets killed by Bigfoot. His friend finds the body and couldn’t mustard a single emotion. I have never seen such a blank, expressionless face as when this gentleman finds his slain friend. I get the impression that this part of the movie and the David Cassidy part were the filmmakers student films that they lumped into the movie to pad out the running time but that is pure speculation on my part. They really feel like student films to me and I have a good nose of these sort of things.

Finally, then guest speaker comes in. They want you to believe he is the professor from the 1958 movie but unless he just happens to be a Time Lord, its a laughable claim. The Professor hams it up for a while, talking about the shocking terror of the unknown, even taking time to get curt with one student whom doubts the existence of a Chimera. The Professor shares with us the tale about the time he ran into Bigfoot. A story so horrible that one of this student who was on the expedition is in a state of permanent  shock. Everyone at the end of the movie seemed to be alright. Nothing terrible happened that would cause long lasting mental problems.

This is where we get Teenagers Battle The Thing lumped into the movie, which will carry us through the rest of the running time. I have watched this movie three times and this part of the movie failed to keep my interest or make any kind of impression on me. I do remember they tried to pull off some very unconvincing day for night shots. At one point a couple squint at the “full moon” which was pretty clearly the sun. I remember groaning at the fast and loose way they played with science. And I remember that the ending wouldn’t have traumatized anyone but I will be damned if I can remember anything about the ending. Pretty much, 30 year old “teenagers” hike through central California until they run into Bigfoot. I recalled there being a lot of walking and rock climbing.

This is one of the worst movies I can ever recall seeing. Curse of Bigfoot commits the fatal sin of being boring. Not to say this isn’t a bad movie, in an MST3K sort of way, because it is. Except it was hard to laugh at how bad the movie is because of how boring the whole thing is. Personally, I will never watch this movie again and I recommend you steer clear of it was will. The only value this film has is as a curiosity in regards to how it was made, which parts were made by who and when. I believe anyone who watches this movie will be left asking why was it made.

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