Archive for November, 2014

Halloween Horrors 2014: Don’t Answer the Phone

I wish this had been the title of the Jerky Boys movie.

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Continue Reading November 29, 2014 at 9:48 pm Leave a comment

Halloween Horrors 2014: Eerie Midnight Horror Show

No one is dressing up to watch this movie at midnight once a week.

Continue Reading November 29, 2014 at 8:45 pm Leave a comment

Halloween Horrors 2014: Doctor Jekyll vs The Werewolf

What would a Halloween be without Paul Naschy, or as I call him, Spanish John Belushi. I believe an eighth of the movies on the Pure Terror set feature Paul Naschy. So if you are doing a thesis paper on 70’s Spanish horror cinema, this set is a must have. On this set, and in low budget horror movies in general, I am used to being lied to. So much to my surprise, this movie features both Doctor Jekyll and a werewolf. You never know. I have seen Dracula and Frankstein movies that featured neither. Mummies that are more like Zombies. Zombies that are more like cannibals. So when a low budget, foreign horror movie delivers what it promises, it’s a huge win in my book.

While riding out in Carpathia in their Rolls Royce, the perfect off road vehicle, Justine and her husband get attacked by ….. gypsies? Justine runs to the safety of Lord Wladimires castle, the one place her attackers won’t follow. She quickly forgets about her slain husband and falls in love with Spanish John Belushi, Lord Wladimires. For a while their I thought he might be a vampire but sure enough, he is a werewolf. With the villagers closing in and Justine madly in love, not caring that he is a werewolf, they make an exciting escape from Carpathia to London. It just so happens that Justine personally knows Doctor Jekyll. THE Doctor Jekyll. If anyone care cure lycanthropy it would be Doctor Jekyll. Jekyll has just the thing, a formula he has been working. The problem is that while Wladimir is only sometimes and werewolf, now he is also Mr. Hyde.

The real attraction of this movie is to see Spanish John Belushi playing Mr. Hyde. And a werewolf too for that matter. He pulls off the werewolf well but his Mr. Hyde needs to be seen to be believed. There is a subplot with Doctor Jekyll and his nurse assistant, which comes to an end when Mr. Hyde throws her on a bed of spikes like a Mortal Kombat fatality. She had just killed Doctor Jekyll for not loving her so there is that but harly a reason to cheer for Hyde.  Hyde is simply the slimiest creep in the world.

In the end Justine must take matters into her own hands with a silver bullet. We get a Reservoir Dogs kind of ending just for good measure. I don’t want to give away too much because I rather like this movie and you should probably watch it. It’s a little plotting at times, moving rather slowly then picking up really quickly in the end.The movie is competently made. They didn’t try to do anything special but none of the technical aspects of the movie look particularly flawed. The acting outside of Naschy’s Mr. Hyde is nothing to write home about. The story isn’t bad but not great. Doctor Jekyll, the title character, really should have done more to resolve the situation. Indeed he was stabbed in the back by his nurse. Maybe I have just seen too many of these movies and Spanish John Belushi has rubbed off on me or maybe this was an enjoyable if not particularly ambitious movie.

November 1, 2014 at 8:42 pm Leave a comment

Halloween Horrors 2014 : Curse of Bigfoot

The Pure Terror movie box set was suppose to take me 31 days. It has taken me nearly 4 years. Part of the reason for that would be movies like Curse of Bigfoot. This movie is nearly unwatchable and very difficult to comment on. Much of Curse of Bigfoot consists of an 1958 movie called Teenagers Battle The Thing. Nothing would have made me happier than if it were Clobberin’ Time for the entire cast and crew of this movie. The movie was released in 1976. Someone in the time inbetween decided to tack on footage from other movies and stock footage from Canadian lumber companies.

We start out with what appears to be a typical slasher movie. A teenager is feeding a dog when a creature lurking in the woods spying on him leaps out and probably kills him. It turns out this is just a movie being watched in a college anthropology class. The first of many gaffs happens when the teacher says the footage is typical of 1950’s creature features. That is laughable considering the kid in the movie had bell-bottoms and David Cassidy hair. That little part of the movie clearly was film separate from the class room footage and Canadian lumberjack footage. That is the real curiosity about this movie, who made all these different films and who had the idea to lump them together into one incoherent mess.

Then we are in a classroom. The teacher tells us about mythological beasts while we wait for his guest speaker. Then he tells us about Bigfoot. This is where he narrates over footage from a Canadian lumber documentary. There could have also been nature documentary footage lumped in there for good measure, its kind of hard tell. It is somewhat humorous to see the lengths the film makers will reach to in order to make this disparate stock footage fit  into a Bigfoot narrative. That is still not a reason to watch this movie. Then he tells us a story about some men who were out hunting and ran into Bigfoot. I will admit that I am a bit foggy on the details about this part of the movie because it consisted mostly of two guys wandering the woods until one of them gets killed by Bigfoot. His friend finds the body and couldn’t mustard a single emotion. I have never seen such a blank, expressionless face as when this gentleman finds his slain friend. I get the impression that this part of the movie and the David Cassidy part were the filmmakers student films that they lumped into the movie to pad out the running time but that is pure speculation on my part. They really feel like student films to me and I have a good nose of these sort of things.

Finally, then guest speaker comes in. They want you to believe he is the professor from the 1958 movie but unless he just happens to be a Time Lord, its a laughable claim. The Professor hams it up for a while, talking about the shocking terror of the unknown, even taking time to get curt with one student whom doubts the existence of a Chimera. The Professor shares with us the tale about the time he ran into Bigfoot. A story so horrible that one of this student who was on the expedition is in a state of permanent  shock. Everyone at the end of the movie seemed to be alright. Nothing terrible happened that would cause long lasting mental problems.

This is where we get Teenagers Battle The Thing lumped into the movie, which will carry us through the rest of the running time. I have watched this movie three times and this part of the movie failed to keep my interest or make any kind of impression on me. I do remember they tried to pull off some very unconvincing day for night shots. At one point a couple squint at the “full moon” which was pretty clearly the sun. I remember groaning at the fast and loose way they played with science. And I remember that the ending wouldn’t have traumatized anyone but I will be damned if I can remember anything about the ending. Pretty much, 30 year old “teenagers” hike through central California until they run into Bigfoot. I recalled there being a lot of walking and rock climbing.

This is one of the worst movies I can ever recall seeing. Curse of Bigfoot commits the fatal sin of being boring. Not to say this isn’t a bad movie, in an MST3K sort of way, because it is. Except it was hard to laugh at how bad the movie is because of how boring the whole thing is. Personally, I will never watch this movie again and I recommend you steer clear of it was will. The only value this film has is as a curiosity in regards to how it was made, which parts were made by who and when. I believe anyone who watches this movie will be left asking why was it made.

November 1, 2014 at 7:31 pm Leave a comment