Halloween Horrors: The Werewolf vs The Vampire Woman

October 30, 2010 at 9:27 pm Leave a comment

What is the most important element of any movie? Being able to see what is happening. In The Werewolf vs The Vampire Woman, there are a lot of moments were you can’t see what is going on. The cinematography for this movie was just horrible. Sadly, I have seen a lot of 1970’s Spanish films thanks to You Tube so I know that bad cinematography is common for these kinds of movies. But in this movie, it gets to be down right unforgivable. There are times when people get killed and you don’t know who. There are people talking to each other and you’re not sure who is speaking to who. The final battle scene, the promise of the premise of the entire movie, is so dark that it takes away any impact it may have had.  Did they just not have any lights in Spain in the 70’s? Did they think the audience wouldn’t care whether or not they could see what is going on? It’s an absolute disaster.

Indeed, I have seen worse movies. But that doesn’t mean I won’t tear it a new one. The promise of the premise for this movie is you will see a werewolf fight a vampire. And you do. But the fight was hardly worth the painful wait it took to get there. The first scene seems to have nothing to do with the movie until much later on and could have been cut all together. A doctor and his assistant are doing an autopsy on a suspected werewolf. The doctor laughs the idea off but at the same time says “Science can’t keep werewolves from killing young girls.” Either he believes in werewolves or he doesn’t, make up your mind movie! They take the silver bullets out of the suspected werewolf, who then turns into a werewolf. He kills the doctor, knocks the assistant over, runs out immediately to kill a random girl walking in the dark. Then the movie starts and it goes a little something like this. Elvira (an Elvira, not THE Elvira) and her college mate Genevieve are apparently majoring in supernatural studies. They heard a rumor about a vampire/witch who was destroyed years ago but they believe they can find her tomb and take some pictures.  As we all know, supernatural studies is  high demand field so these girls are looking to make a ton of money going out of school. One of them, I think Elvira, has a boyfriend who is an inspector, I think. For some reason he has to go to Turkey. He says he will be safe though because he watched James Bond movies. So is this guy a cop or a spy? Why would a local French Inspector be asked to go catch criminals in Turkey? Dog the Bounty Hunter got arrest for catching criminals in Mexico. But this guy can barge into Turkey and arrest French criminals? I guess the writers were hoping we wouldn’t ask too many questions since this bar room scene is horribly boring.

Elvira and Genevieve head out to the county to find the tomb of a vampire witch when they run into Waldemar. At first I thought he was a priest but it turns out he just likes lurking around the woods in black clothing. Nothing suspicious about that. He invites the girls to his place. Genevieve is suspicious but Elvira implicitly trusts him because the script says so. Apparently he is a write and has been studying vampire legends. Which means he can help these girls find their vampire witch.   They spend the night in his creepy house. In the middle of the night, a girl walks into their room rambling about some sort of non-sense. She removes Elvira’s top but it blur cuts before we get to see anything. Blur back and Waldemar is sitting at the foot of the bed apologizing that his sister just assaulted her. The only implication we can get from this scene is that Elvira was raped or at least sexually assaulted by this girl. Elvira is completely cool with this. She is so mellow about whatever just happened that you would think she enjoyed it.

In the morning, they determine where the vampire witch is buried and head off on their way. Later we will find out that Waldemar really, really needed to find out where this vampire witch was buried and was trying for years to find the location. It would seem she was buried right up the road the whole time. Which makes Waldemar a complete idiot. With help from two college students, he finds the location in less than a minute.  I guess it never occurred to him to look right down the street for her.  They tell us all the back story of the vampire witch. Apparently, she needed to drink the blood of virgins to stay forever young. She was stabbed in the heart by a silver cross and buried at a crossroad. So they find her tomb and quickly dig it up. The casket says clearly do not disturb but that doesn’t stop them. The legend says she will stay dead so long as the cross stays stabbed into her but that doesn’t stop them from grabbing it. She can only regain her power with virgin blood but that doesn’t stop Genevieve from slicing herself horribly and bleeding all over the dead vampire witch. This was the most avoidable situation I have seen in a movie in a long time. If the girls didn’t believe in the vampire witch, then why are they majoring in paranormal studies. You would think with them knowing all this back story, they would take some precautions.

So everyone goes back to Waldemar’s place to enjoy a job well done. In the middle of the night, Genevieve gets called by the vampire witch and very willing gives herself to her. Elvira gets called next. She walks downstairs and finds a dead woman hanging on a gate. At first, I thought it was Genevieve since I couldn’t see who it was.  Turns out it was Waldemar’s sister. Just as Elvira is about the be taken in by Vampire Genevieve, Waldemar shows up with the Silver Cross and chases the vampires off.  Waldemar sits down and talks matters over with Elvira who wants to stand by him because all of a sudden she loves him. This part of the movie really frustrated me. He did absolutely nothing to win her over. This love subplot comes out of no where. How or why she falls in love with him is baffling.

Around this point of the movie, 45 minutes or so in, it is revealed that Waldemar is a werewolf. He pretty much kills Genevieve, which free Elvira from any control Genevieve had over her. Also at this point, you really just wish the movie was over. The movie drags and I begin the wonder if I will ever get to see a werewolf fight a vampire. When Waldemar killed Genevieve, he was in human form with a stake through the heart. Around now we meet Pierre, a sleazy handy man who we know is up to no good. He drives Elvira back to down to get her out of danger and acts like the biggest sleaze. You just know he will try something on Elvira. The vampire witch stops him from leaving though. This same scene is replayed later when Marcel shows up to investigate the death of Pierre. He wants to take Elvira away and the same thing happens. Pierre gets killed when later on he tries to rape Elvira and Waldemar murders him in werewolf form. Although you have got to admire the balls on Pierre, trying to take a werewolf in a fist fight. Then there is the random scene were a guy who looks like Gilligan tries to attack Waldemar and ends up stabbing himself with a knife.  Inspector Marcel is no Harry Callahan. He fires 8 shots into the chest of the Vampire Witch and doesn’t think to get back in the car and drive away. She didn’t exactly block the road. She just threw a corpse at the car.

Thankfully, we get to the conclusion. Elvira is tied up. Marcel  is chained up. But Waldemar shows up, in werewolf form, and with 3 minutes left to go, we get out Werewolf vs Vampire show down. They roll around on the ground for a while. It’s really hard to see what is going on. Apparently, a vampire witch can be killed by getting mauled by a werewolf. Who knew? Then Elvira stabs Waldemar with the silver cross. See, he could only be freed from the werewolf curse by getting stabbed by that cross by someone who loved him. Only true love can kill a werewolf apparently. Thank God its over!

This movie is just terrible. The dubbed voice over is bad, even by dubbed voice over standards. The lighting is unforgivable. The pacing is painful. And the epic fight at the end is lame. This movie could have been a half hour long with a bad ass fight scene and I would have been happy. The promise of the premise is a good idea. The problem is that the payoff isn’t worth the trouble.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tlgPdjsbsxI

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Entry filed under: Horror. Tags: , , , , , , , .

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