Blood of the Zombie

January 29, 2010 at 2:29 am Leave a comment

It’s been a while since I have seen a movie that hurts as bad as Blood of the Zombie. It’s a poorly made, poorly acted, poorly written, racist, idiotic movie. Buried in the sands of time for 40 years, this movie was made in 1961 but not released to the viewing public until 2002. Blood of the Zombie a.k.a The Dead One features a real first for me. All of the actors go by their first names. The character John is played by John. The character Linda is played by someone named Linda. Monica is played by Monica. It should have stayed buried. This is a movie that begs to be riff by MST3K.

We are out with a strange white lady performing a voodoo ritual while a room of 15 or so black people look on with boredom. This lady is Cousin Monica. She raises her brother Jonas from the dead and commands his actions. Jump from that to John and Linda getting married. Then they hurry up onto their honeymoon. The movie then spends the next 15 minutes hanging out in jazz bars and what qualifies for strip clubs in 1961. The movie takes place in New Orleans so they wanted to take some time to show us the finer tourist spots of New Orleans. The only pay off we get from this is the stripper they see ends up stranded on the side of the road. The couple picks them up and takes them to their newly acquired propriety. Two things stand out to me through this whole scene. One is how uncomfortable this newly wed couple seem around each other. Second is how accepting the bride is that her husband is taking her to strip clubs where he is known by first name by the bartender.

The story of the propriety is that it’s a plantation that has been in the husbands family for many generations. John now owns this propriety because Jonas died without getting married and John just got married. This makes John seem like a jerk. The wife is as virginal and pure as can be and hardly seems to know him. I think he may have just gotten married so he could own this propriety. The problem with this arrangement is Cousin Monica, who has lived on the plantation all of her life and doesn’t want John to own it.

Cousin Monica is a real prize. Her acting is absolutely horrid. Everything sounds like she is reading lines. When she tries to put emotion into her performance, all she does is yell. Her acting is so hammy or monotone it hurt to watch. Sadly, she had been in other movies at this point. Most of her career was spend as uncredited woman at party in swinger sex films in the 60’s.

Back to what qualifies as a story. Bella Bella, the striper they picked up, is allowed to spend the night due to her broken car. She seems to take an interest in Linda, the wife, but it is never really built on. So they go to bed for the night. They tow Bella Bella’s car to the plantation because….. I have no clue. Shouldn’t they have towed her to a garage? John takes Linda around to show her the plantation. He seems really proud of his families slave trading roots. He is all to excited to show Linda the whole slave house. When a black farm hand tells him not to poke around there because of evil spirits. John talks down to him like the farm hand like still a slave. All through this movie they seem to run this plantation as if the Civil War never ended. That is why I call this movie incredibly racist.  He demands that there will be no more of this voodoo silliness while he is in charge. Cousin Monica on the other hand believes in voodoo and warns John that his cockiness will cost him dearly. See, if John’s wife dies then Monica owns the plantations. So she enlists the help of her farm hands to raise brother Jonas again to kill the wife. The movie meanders for a while, paced very slowly. They raise Jonas. He kills Bella Bella in the dead of night because all Monica told him was to kill the girl. But she never said which woman though. John and Linda find Bella’s dead body. Linda’s response to finding a mangled corpse is to say “Is there anything we can do for her?” There isn’t a lot you can do for a dead person I’m afraid. So Monica sends him out to get the right woman this time. John has had enough of this non-sense. He leaves Linda in the bedroom alone while he goes out to the barn to see what is going on. He breaks up the voodoo ceremony by throwing the bongo drum out a window and slapping Monica.  So the way to stop of Voodoo Priestess is a male chauvinist backhand to the face. This stops zombie Jonas right before he is about to kill Linda. Jonas returns to the crypt. Monica, John, and Linda are all there waiting for him. John and Linda went looking for answers. Monica wants to rub it in that voodoo is real. Jonas shows up and Monica tells him to go back to his grave before the sun comes out. This is the only time in a zombie movie I have seen that a zombie can be stopped by sunlight. Then the cops show up and shoot at Jonas without provocation.  Is this the New Orleans police or the Los Angeles police? Monica takes a bullet for her zombie brother. Why? Who cares! It doesn’t seem wise to take a bullet for a zombie since he is immune to bullets. Jonas goes after the cops, steps into the sunlight, and disappears. That is a new one. He didn’t burn or melt, he just vanished. Mercifully, Blood of the Zombie is over.

Bad movie fans are the only people who could get any enjoyment from this film. There is not one good actor in this movie. I have spoiled the plot so you know the writing isn’t any good. The lighting was terrible. The sound was god awful. It sounded like everyone was whispering in this movie. It was a painful experience and boy am I glad it’s over.


Entry filed under: Horror. Tags: , , , , , .

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