Halloween: Resurrection and Halloween Rant

November 1, 2009 at 5:41 pm Leave a comment

I love slasher films.  All of the long running series seem to have certain things in common. They get worse in time.  Friday the 13th, Nightmare on Elm Street, and Halloween all have their high and low points throughout their long runs. Generally, they start off strong and the downward spiral begins.  The only Halloween movies I haven’t seen were Halloween: Resurrection and the new Rob Zombie’s Halloween 2. With MTV showing Halloween:Resurrection for a week straight, I decided now was the time to finally watch it. I have avoided this one for a while because he had some poor reviews and it was said that Busta Rhymes takes up a lot of screen time. But I had to see it for myself. After all, I’ve watched Gigli.

So the story goes, Michael Myers finally catches up with Laurie Strode, his sister whom he was stalking in Halloween 1 and 2. While it’s unsatisfying, Michael Myers finally kills her and surrenders his knife to a mental patient. Cut to Busta Rhymes putting together a reality show. A girl named Sarah in college doesn’t really want to do the show but agreed to it because her token black friend and a girl who looks like Reese Witherspoon want her to be on it with them. So they get together a bunch of annoying college students and the idea is they will spend the night in Michael Myers’ house, looking for answers as to why Michael Myers is evil. They didn’t plan on Michael Myers coming home though. So he kills everyone except Busta Rhymes and Sarah. They survive thanks to Sarah’s internet buddy, who is watching the show on the internet, and sends her text messages as to where Michael Myers is in the house. They lure him into the garage were they electricute him thanks to the lousy wiring they set up for the show and set him on fire. But in the end, Michael Myers opens his eyes in the corinor’s office, setting up for another sequal that never happened.

What gets me about this movie is that it was kind of unneccessary. They could have ended it with H2O and went on to the remakes. At the end of H2O, Laurie Strode lops Michael’s head off while he is pinned between an ambulience and a tree. In this movie, they say it didn’t happen like that. Instead, Michael crushed the throat of a paramedic so he couldn’t talk, put the Michael Myers mask on him, then slipped off into the night. If that is the case, then Michael Myers is still out there somewhere. Why are they doing an internet reality show at his house? If he is still out there, isn’t there a good possiblity he will show up and kill a bunch of young people loafing around his house? I could understand if this was a trap set by the cops to catch Michael Myers but instead it was a reality show that seemed to mock the whole idea of Michael Myers. Busta Rhymes plants a bunch of stuff in the house to give them false clues as to why Michael is evil.  Then they find his lair under the house, where it is implied he has been living for 20 years or so.

Now is the time to talk about the continuity of the series. Halloween H2O and Resurrection ignore Halloween’s 4,5, and 6. And 3 since that movie had nothing to do with Michael Myers or the series. So we are to believe that after Halloween 2, when he and Loomis are burned to a crisp, Michael Myers gets away, somehow, and lives in the basement of his old home, feasting on rats and stray dogs. Why did it take him 20 years to track down Laurie Strode? What was he doing in that in between time? At the beginning of H2O, he ransacks Dr. Loomis’ home, looking for clues as to what happened to Laurie Strode. He finds out she changed her name and went into hiding.  It took him 20 years to think of this?  There is no reason the events of Halloween’s 4 and 5 couldn’t have taken place. Even if the ending of Halloween 5 lends itself to explaination, let’s just make Halloween 4 cannon and say that Michael Myers slipped off into the night and went into hiding after getting gunned down by state police. In fact, we could just say he goes out every ten years looking for family members to kill, since Halloween 4 was made in 1988, Halloween 78, and H20 98. That makes a lot more sense than The Thorne Cult in Halloween 6, which tries to explain why Michael Myers does what he does, with very little success.

Anyway you cut it, the original series didn’t end. I would really like to see a conclusion to that series. Unfortunately, the two characters whom should kill Michael Myers once and for all, are dead. Dr. Loomis died somehow at the beginning of H2O and Laurie Strode in Resurrection. If we accept that everything is cannon, Michael Myers still has two people to kill. Laurie’s son from H2O and his own daughter/2nd neice from Halloween 6. If 6 isn’t cannon, then he still needs to kill Jamie Lloyd from 4 and 5, plus the off spring  any of these characters produced. I think the way to do it is to accept everything as cannon and see what happens if Michael Myers wins. If he successes in killing all of his family, what becomes of him then? They would be a lot more satisying than Rob Zombie’s Psychobilly remakes.

As for the remakes, I only saw the first one and if it had stopped there, I would have liked it. It was kind of a comic book alternate continuity that would have been just fine if it ended with Laurie blowing Michael’s head off. But they had to make a sequal to a remake, in which Michael Myers talks and is something of a bum wandering around corn fields. It seems like instead of making Halloween movies, Rob is making Texas Chainsaw and Friday the 13th movies. Ironically, I would rather see his remakes of those movies than of Halloween.

In conclusion, Halloween Resurrection certainly isn’t the worse movie I have seen. It isn’t even the worst Halloween movie, that honor goes to Halloween 6. Busta Rhymes is very good at playing Busta Rhymes, which is all he is asked to do. He has a couple good lines, although I really would have liked to see Michael kill him, since he is a jerk for most of the movie. I’ll give them credit for giving his character something of  a character arch. Resurrection comes off as so stock, so standard, it literally could have been any slasher movie. They could have taken Michael Myers out,plugged in any other slasher and it would have been the same movie. Resurrection suffers from being incredibly average. Although it is worse than Road House.

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