Halloween Horrors: Frankenstein ’80

November 1, 2009 at 6:12 pm Leave a comment

This Halloween I went over to You Tube and watched three horror movies, ate candy, and stayed up late. A good time by any measure. My goal was to watch movies that had something of a monster theme. Frankenstein, Dracula, Wolfman, Zombies, what have you. The first movie of the night was Frankenstein ’80.

The title suggests that this would be the story of Frankenstein, updated to match 1980 sensibities and technology. That would be pretty hard to accomplish, considering this movie was made in 72. It also doesn’t inspire much confidence that the movie is distributed by Cheesy Flicks. The credit sequence looks like it was made with iMovie.

Frankenstein ’80 is an Italian made monster movie, something You Tube seems to love to put up. Dr. Frankenstein uses body parts he gets at the hospital he works at to make a person. The problem is, body organs keep getting rejected. His monsters name is Mosaic, kind of a cute name considering he is made up of different people’s parts. I think Mosaic was probably the original title of the movie. Frankenstein steals a syrum that prevents organ reject. By doing so, one man’s sister dies during a heart transplant. He vows to get to the bottom of it. At the same time, Frankenstein gives Mosaic testicles, which gives him a sex drive. He STEALS MONEY FROM FRANKENSTEIN AND FINDS HIMSELF A HOOKER! I had to put that in caps just to explain how cracked out that is. Frankenstein’s monster goes out and hires a hooker. Well, the hooker isn’t pleased with all his scars and what not when she asks him to take his clothes off, so she screams. Then Mosiac rapes her. Did I meantion this was rated PG-13? You see breasts a lot in this movie. Because of all of this murder and missing body parts, the local police chief vows not to smoke until the case is solved. The movie meanders for a while, becoming very slow and hard to follow. The movie ends with Mosiac killing Frankenstein and some other people while his body is falling apart for some reason. It ends with him bleeding to death. The chief gets to light up and we all live happily ever after.

This movie isn’t particularly well made. It has that grainy look of 70’s foreign cinema. Sometimes it’s hard to tell what is going on because it is so dark. The story isn’t all bad but it’s pace is so slow. The only characters who are developed are the police chief, Dr. Frankenstein, and Mosiac. It’s not a bad movie, it’s just kind of boring. The one scene I remember is the cracked out hooker scene. I have hard time recommending this movie, even though it was hardly the worst movie I’ve seen. I’d just say, proceed with caution.

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Entry filed under: Horror. Tags: , , , , .

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