Cheerleader Ninjas

October 26, 2009 at 12:03 am Leave a comment

Mean-spirited, unfunny, homophobic, hateful, disgusting, painful, amature, poorly written, poorly acted, ill concieved, and that is only half of the adjectives I could come up with for this movie. Cheerleader Ninjas is like the worst of all Troma movies rolled into one. Although it wasn’t made by Troma. It’s a movie that is so vapid and filled with unlikable characters that it hurt to watch.  Cheerleader Ninjas was made my people who are severely undersexed and have a very shallow view of the world.

This movie is made for nothing. Shot on video with no actors or anything. I don’t believe there was any cinematography, set design, anything that would constitute a movie. There are a lot of nerd references but they come off like really bad Family Guy jokes. Just referencing something does not make for a joke. I can’t explain in how many ways this movie lacks professionalism. There is no way this should have been made, much less distributed.

Story? It boils down to a bunch of horrible  fart jokes made by very immature people. Some Catholic women are very offended by internet porn so they want to attack the local cheerleader. They hire an offensive gay teacher and slutty Catholic school girls to get after them. And from there, it doesn’t make a lick of sense. Somehow the Catholic girls make everyone believe the Cheerleaders are dating geeks. And there is “ninja” training. A LOT of blow up dolls. A string of crude jokes. Somehow the internet is turned into a brainwashing device. From there you have a giant robot fight. There is a beginning, middle, and end, which is more than I can say for Dr. Torture movies. But the jokes are so horrible they take away from whatever story there may be instead of adding to it.  The jokes are hateful to so many pockets of humanity that for me to say it’s hateful to one group would be wrong.  This movie hates humanity. Peroid.

There seems to be a rule on You Tube. The more female breasts a movie shows, the worse the movie is. This movie has breasts every ten minutes. If this movie was written, I’d be shocked. I really hoped Jason Vorhees would show up as some point and just start killing people.  Cheerleader Ninjas is a movie so hateful, immature, and mean-spirited that even showing vag couldn’t save it. If I wanted to watch a porn, I’d watch a porn. This movie is just a tease with a poor sense of humor. This may be one of the worst movies I’ve seen in a long time. Worse than Road House? Yeah, by a mile! Worse than Dr. Torture movies? I don’t know. This movie is what the title says it is. Cheerleader Ninjas. I feel ashamed that I watched it though. I can’t say that for Dr. Torture movies. You would have to be very deprived to find this movie funny. I only recommend it for the most masochistic who really want to feel cinematic pain.


Entry filed under: Comedy. Tags: , , , .

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