Bruce Lee in New Guinea

October 8, 2009 at 10:28 pm Leave a comment

This was a painful one. If you are a fan of The Spoony One or The Cinema Snob, then you are familar with Brucespoltation. For those who don’t know that term, you should be greatful but I will fill you in. Following the untimely death of Bruce Lee, a bunch of crooked movie producers found guys who kind of looked like Bruce Lee and had them star in low budget knockoff movies that they would claim are Bruce Lee movies. Bruce Lee in New Guinea is one of them.

The main character is played by Bruce Li who is a Bruce Lee impostor playing the part of One Lee. There is lots of kung fu fighting, not Bruce Lee quality but not terrible. The thing is, there is a fight scene every five minutes. It gets really tiresome. And because this is Snake Island, everyone knows Snake Style kung fu. I don’t know kung fu movies as well as some. My only exposure to snake style is from Shang Tsung in Mortal Kombat Deadly Alliance. The guys in this movie make snake style look pathetic. And you will see so much fighting and so much snake style you will want to vomit. Bruce and his buddy go to New Guinea to study a tribal culture and it gets really confusing after that.

There are is the snake tribe, who is being torn in two by this wizard, who casts no magic but knowns snake style and has a poison ring. Bruce fights the snake wizard once and gets nearly killed. While he is in the village “Bruce”  impregnates the tribal princess and then leaves but has trippy nightmares about this time with the tribe. He comes back to save the tribe from the wizard. There is a kung fu ape. That pretty much speaks for itself. To tell you the truth, I’d rather watch a movie about the kung fu ape. It is just implied that he knows snake style and kind of helps Bruce as he returns to the island to meet his fatherly responsiblities. Oh, and about that, the new born child is roughly three years old. That was pretty amusing, to see them try to pass off a toddler as a new born. There is horrible dubbing they do for a black man which is one of the most racist things I’ve ever heard. There are a bunch of missing scenes, indicated by hugh chunks of black nothing where scenes were suppose to be. It’s bad enough that they made movies with a fake Bruce Lee but did they have to make it nearly unwatchable. But it is something you need to see to believe.


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